Hey everyone.
I've been racking my brains all day thinking, what on earth am I going to write about my day that is project related. And to be honest with you, I can't think of anything to write about. So I'd thought I would write about something a little different. I thought I might talk about me for a change.
I am never one to talk about myself, but I thought, why not? And so I've been thinking back to these last few weeks and thinking well what have I done in all this time gone by.
So far this year, I have, turned twenty, worked on seven plays - acted in three and worked backstage on five, voted in an important vote that will ultimately change the future of our country, completed my second year at university, started my third and final year at university, started getting back into gaming again, decided to make a productive start in taking my quizzing career more seriously and start to learn things that all the best quizzers know, and have been to every recording of the chase celebrity special.
These are just a few highlights amongst all the other social gatherings with family and friends and other things that I've done throughout the course of this year. You might be reading this and thinking that these things are not all that important but they matter to me. I have actually been very lucky in the fact that I have managed to stay busy for most part of the year. I can remember distinctly on some occasions in the past just having gaps of time on my hands and not knowing what to do with it all, and just wasting it by sitting at home going bored out of my mind. That's no way to live your life, you got to make every second count.
So those are just a few things I can remember from this year, If I were to recall every single thing I've done each day of the year and made a list for you, I would be here all night typing this out, thankfully for me, though my memory may be excellent in some areas in that I remember things from 2009 or 2010 I don't remember everything, I do forget things, it's not uncommon.
So now here I am, in my bedroom, staring at the same four walls and pondering where has the time gone? It's early November and it is eight weeks to go until we are in 2017. My goodness hasn't this year gone quick, and rather ironically I remember saying this about last year. The difference though last year being that I was referring to time passing where as with this year it's a question of the time passing fast enough, what I am getting at is the pace of life is just way too fast now. It's the great mystery, you get to this point and think, what on earth has happened? where has the time gone? What would you do if you could go back in time and change things? what parts of life would you change for the better and why, there are many times where I have felt like that this year. It's something that always comes back to me for some reason.
And I'm on my own a lot of time, so I don't get out much, but then that's just me, I like my sense of security and I need a lot of 'me time' time to myself, we all need that, but in my case I fall into a category of people who need it more than others, this doesn't mean to say I am an unsociable person, I enjoy spending time with people, providing they are the right people for me.
I saw something recently which basically kind of summed up everything to me about me, and the way I am with people it said "The Life Changing moment of not giving a fuck" and underneath it was something which said "How to stop spending time you don't have, doing things you don't want to do, with people you don't like" and I think there's a lot of truth in that. Life is too short for you to waste time on people who in reality don't care much for you at all. I've learnt that the hard way.
In these past few weeks, it's been quite organised and disorganised. I feel the two tend to be a sort of part and parcel kind of thing. There are time where I feel things go well and other times where I let laziness get in the way of my productiveness. And I think this is starting to take hold. I think this because I'm tired a lot the time from work, both my jobs are very demanding and I'm getting up early on weekday mornings to go to my first job which provides me with a steady in come, and I'm working late in the night on a play at the other work place doing something I enjoy, being paid with experience and knowledge. I think a lot of this year for me has been wasted and costed my productiveness due to my tiredness and social activity getting in the way. It's why I haven't been able to do so much youtube work as much as I would have liked to have done this year. It was all "I'll do it later, or I'll do it tomorrow" and as a result I change my mind. But then again, I think I am also very indecisive. I am a very indecisive person. I'll think one thought and then something will happen to change it and then I'm thinking of how good the one thing will be and then I'm thinking oh maybe I like the other one better and I can't make my mind up. It happens with youtube projects, picking a suit, whatever it is. It annoys me as it just wastes time. I wish I could have the time back to be honest.
I do tend to question, how much I have achieved this year and was it worth it? I've done all these plays and films but in the end what was it all for? I can't help but think in this way sometimes.
And now in the weeks leading up to Christmas, I am now seven weeks into my final year at uni, I am in a production group for my final major project of the course, we have to write an extended essay on a topic of our choice, I have a topic and I'm happy to be talking about it, we have to write a literature review on the books, web sources and research we have made, I have not a clue on where to start, we have other professional development projects to do over the course of the year, as well a production pack and a youtube channel for our film showing an understanding in multi platforming. Not to mention it's very busy with the plays I am working on at the moment. In a nutshell my life basically revolves around four very important things. My course, My Projects, My Plays and My Game (which is Mortal Kombat XL) And in some cases I've forgotten how to be sociable because these four thing basically just dominate my whole life because I want them to, and it's sort of imbalanced in how I have let them take charge. In that I pay more attention to less important things than others. But I needn't get into that.
It's been an odd few weeks, as I just feel that I am in a comfortable position in my life, I'm grateful and happy enough to be in a fortunate position where things are neither terrible, bad, average or perfect - just ok.
That what I am.
I am ok.
